The guilt of leaving your baby…

I should have overcome this feeling by now given my baby is nearly 2 but it doesn’t seem to be shifting any time soon!

 So my night started with me saying “bye-bye” to my babygirl at the front door. Held my her doting grandmother. Her little face fading from a smile to the realisation that she wasn’t coming with me as I reversed out of the driveway. 

My guilt always hits me hard every time I leave her. 😞😔 I wish I can take you everywhere babygirl but momma gotta make those monies to give us a good life. 

Arrived on my ward for the night. Listening to handover with a slightly spaced out mind as I had spent the day chasing said babygirl around the house. 

Wondering how I was going to cope with the next 12.5 hours of my life…late nights at work are the ones where I remember my life before I became a mama. I hardly remember those times but now I have a new direction..to provide everything I can for me and my mini me….ah the joys of parenthood. 

White toe polish? Hmmm

So I decided to paint my crusty-ass toes white today. I’m battling with myself as to whether this was a good decision or not. 

White polish is a thing this summer. I’ve seen it on countless celebs and the random on the street and I always thought it’s a bit of a “marmite thing”? 
– note. Here is where is would put a picture of my feet. However I could not get a decent enough picture of them; therefore anyone who reads this will get a reprieve from them 😂😂😂

Why start now?

A question I have asked myself is why start this now? Honestly speaking, a really good friend of mine showed me his blog. I was intrigued. I was inspired. Inspired that he sat down and actually focused on something for HIMSELF.

I did however see a psychic palm reader in January of 2016, believe in them or not; your choice. But she suggested I start writing. I have put it off for long enough but I guess my life is going in a direction where I want to take more control of myself and my choices.

Hence this.

A blog of my life. My thoughts. My hopes. Maybe one day my 20 month old baby girl will come across this to see what her mumma was up to. I hope so…